It's been many many years since I posted...it was actually my daughter who reminded me I had a blog.  We now are a family dealing with older children in suburban life in Brisbane.  What can I truly say about life today?  It is peaceful, happy and challenging.  There are also a few frustrations thrown in there but nothing that a quick reality check doesn't take care of.  We are lucky enough to still have three happy healthy children and a marriage that ticks most of the boxes.  About to hit mid 40's and I guess I never really had any major dreams or aspirations (apart from being a good wife and mother) that I feel I've not achieved.  I recently completed a Certificate III in Horticulture as I identified nurturing and growing plants as one of my passions and my partner in life stood behind me 100% and invested in my desires....needless to say it hasn't really amounted to much.  Still yet to take that leap of faith and trust in myself to make it contribute to an income for the family.  I have a lot of wonderful plants and surround myself with the natural beauty only mother nature (with a little assistance) can provide.  I think this year could be the year where something gets started!!!

Our family business is going really really well.  Full steam ahead!!! Juan keeps at it every day with great enthusiasm and never wavering from his end goal, which is to build a successful business.  Every day I am so proud of him.  I now work a couple of days a week doing administration and bookkeeping.  I'm happy to be a part of his business world.  Still, I do find it challenging to keep home and be the mum I want to be with two less days a week.....(totally first world problems!!).....I guess I'm also used to a lot of time on my own....as all the girls are well into school now.  It truly is a blessed time in History and in our Western Culture where we have the choice to seek out and try new things and hobbies.  I love to paint and I love plants...and I have the space and time in my life to amerce myself in what interests me and I really do try not to take it for granted.  It really is a blessed time to live.

My mother passed away June last year.  This is still impacting me on a daily basis.  I loved my mother more then a realised.  I had always been a good daughter, and I take comfort in that, but the impact when the matriarch of their family is gone is something that is hard to prepare for.  I was lucky.  Mum had cancer.  I know this sounds like a contradiction but we had time.  Time to prepare, to digest and time to say goodbye and say all that was needed to be said.  Again, I can say here I have no regrets.  I loved my mum dearly.  As much as I was a part of her she was also a part of me.....at times our connection was not as strong, especially having a twin sister (not possible to have  closer relationship) but Mum for me was a massive part of my world.  If anyone is reading this who has a parent or someone close battling cancer please do not hesitate to tell them everything....all your fears, all your happy times and memories in your relationship and most importantly how much you will miss them.  It is so so hard to believe someone is actually going to be gone until they are gone.....and that is the word that best describes it for me.........gone.........I have and am still struggling with what this actually means....is it forever??? Not a day goes by that I don't think about her and not a day goes by that I don't realise the massive hole it has left in my heart and life.  I know I will miss her until the day my time is done on this earth.. Also one other thing terrifies me..... I actually was nowhere near as close to my mum as my daughters are and I hope remain to be...how will they deal with my passing?? I want them to know that I will live on within them and if there is a spirit world I will be watching over them...just for the record.

So....in a nut shell that is me today.  As for my girls daily they grow into woman.  I do my best to still teach them every day, how to take care of themselves and be responsible for their lives.  It shouldn't stop with just teaching them to walk and talk....it goes on.  I now try to prepare them for adulthood and heading out into the world on their own.  I am not of the belief  (like a lot of parents I have spoken to) that it's too expensive to leave home.  It's a right....not just for them but also for us as their parents. I know they will flourish and grow when they are independent and facing the world and it's challenges on their own.  That is my job right?  To help prepare them for building their own lives.  I'm a great believer in that children are a temporary gift....we never will and never have owned them. Through us they have been given life and we have been given the privilege of creating these people and sharing in their lives and it is inevitable that one day they will have their own lives...of which I hope I will always be a part of.  Stand by for my blog when they do actually leave the nest.....that should be interesting.

Well....that's about it for now.  I'm pretty sure no one will read this accept for me and in a way I  am treating this a little like a personal time capsule.  Bless the internet.....and I do pray that the Universe keeps blessing us with wellness, happiness and success.  I appreciate how blessed we are. 

                                         
    Two of mum's sisters, niece and brother that came over from Singapore for mums life celebration.

Two high school girls now.

                                            Mum had a bit of a special bond with Lola.

                                          Dad....who soldiers on and always tries to make the best of life.

 Precious time is all we had....but still the reality of losing someone is never quite real until it happens.

                               And so, lucky for us,  life goes on................................till next time.